Released- 5th April 2004
If I had to save one track from this album, which this time around feels like asking me which of my children I’d want to survive, that track would be…
Track by Track Breakdown
Britney Spears – “Toxic”
Easily her best single. The syncopated beats and screeching violins and frankly how rudely she says ‘I think I’m ready now’ towards the end (for shame). Can’t not dance to this.
Kelis – “Milkshake”
What a double to start! I don’t know what there is new to say here, so just put this on and appreciate!
Jamelia – “Thank You”
Very odd backing. Wonky. But actually a great song. Touching.
Kylie Minogue – “Red Blooded Woman”
One of those moments when her star is on the fade again sadly. To be honest, she’ll bounce back. It’s what she does.
Justin Timberlake – “I’m Lovin’ It”
In an otherwise wonderful solo career, writing the McDonald’s jingle is probably his lowest moment.
Enrique Iglesias featuring Kelis – “Not In Love”
It’s okay. Annoying that he got Kelis on but it just sounds like every other Enrique Iglesias song. And steals a line from 10cc.
The Black Eyed Peas – “Shut Up”
Not entirely terrible. But I reckon a better song with this title will come out in 12 years or so.
2 Play featuring Raghav – “So Confused”
The limpest use of a good danceable beat I have ever heard. Even Sean Paul would refuse to guest on this.
Beenie Man featuring Ms Thing and Shawanna – “Dude”
He’s a horrible man, but I can’t help but enjoy his music. Bounces along at a great clip.
Peter Andre – “Mysterious Girl”
I reviewed this back on 1996’s Now 34 and I’ll be damned if I’m listening to it again. So this is what I said:
Famous for this song and marrying the plastics and retardation magnate Jordan. I can’t work out which is worse. This song is liked ironically by the sort of man who thinks unwanted groping is just ‘bantz’. That’s how bad it is.
DJ Casper – “Cha Cha Slide”
No matter how basic EDM is, it could never stoop down to this, which is basically outtakes from an exercise tape over a beat. Or Agadoo without the charm.
Girls Aloud – “Jump”
Cover of the Pointer Sisters, which adds nothing new – to its credit!
Boogie Pimps – “Somebody to Love”
Enjoyable update of the Jefferson Airplane classic. Face it, the original wasn’t as danceable!
Atomic Kitten featuring Kool & the Gang – “Ladies’ Night”
They can’t quite drain all the funk from the original. But good lord can we all just agree to sent £3 a month so Kool and his gang don’t have to debase themselves this way?
Emma – “I’ll Be There”
I feel like I might have missed out on a great fake 60s album by Baby Spice here. A great low budget Dusty Springfield pastiche here, complete with multiple key changes.
Sophie Ellis-Bextor “I Won’t Change You”
Scissor Sisters “Comfortably Numb”
Deepest Blue “Give It Away”
LMC vs U2 “Take Me to the Clouds Above”
Special D. “Come with Me”
Ultrabeat “Feelin’ Fine”
Motorcycle “As the Rush Comes”
Ferry Corsten “Rock Your Body Rock”
Will Young “Leave Right Now”
Katie Melua “The Closest Thing to Crazy”
Norah Jones “Sunrise”
Blue “Breathe Easy”
Kelly Osbourne featuring Ozzy Osbourne “Changes”
Blink-182 “I Miss You”
Busted “Who’s David?”
Fountains of Wayne “Stacy’s Mom”
Franz Ferdinand “Take Me Out”
Alistair Griffin “Bring It On”
Sugababes “Too Lost in You”
VS “Love You Like Mad”
Joss Stone “Fell in Love with a Boy”
FYA featuring Smujji “Must Be Love”
N.E.R.D “She Wants to Move”
Jamie Cullum “Frontin'” (Live)
Keane “Somewhere Only We Know”
Snow Patrol “Run”
Alex Parks “Maybe That’s What It Takes”
Ronan Keating “She Believes (In Me)”
Michelle McManus “All This Time”
out of 44.
This article is part of a series, chronicling a foolish attempt to chronicle the history of modern pop, through the Now That’s What I Call Music series. All the previous articles, and some other fun stuff, can be found here.